Book Review: The Ultimate Guide to Sex Through Pregnancy and Motherhood

Image description: The book features a red background with text in stylized scrawled font. At the bottom an image of a pregnant figure wearing a long white tank top with bare legs is being spooned by a second figure in jeans and white t-shirt. The book is held up against a wood paneled background.

First things first. I am neither pregnant nor a mother and have no intention of ever being either. BUT I was still really interested in reading this book, because I wanted to have a resource on this topic to recommend to readers. I think it’s an important one, and one that gets overlooked in discussions about sexuality.

“The Ultimate Guide to Sex Through Pregnancy and Motherhood: Passionate, Practical Advice for Moms” by Madison Young was published in 2016 Cleis Press.

I own numerous “ultimate guide” books from Cleis Press and often find them very accessible and useful. I have also read Madison Young’s other books (Daddy: A Memoir, and DIY Porn Handbook) and enjoyed them.

I am familiar with the author as a kinky porn perform and sexual artist, and she doesn’t hide these details from her life in this book. In fact, several of the chapters draw on concepts from BDSM in enforcing boundaries, practicing self-care, and spicing up your sex life. But the author draws equally from her experience in motherhood that does not hinge on her kinky side. Though she blends both in a chapter that stuck out to me as unique for a pregnancy book: “Talking With Our Kids About Bodies, Gender, and Sexuality.”

What struck me as the best thing about this book was that the author was real about being vulnerable. Pregnancy is messy and awkward–squirting milk? Leaking bladder? Rollercoaster emotions and libido? The author doesn’t shy away from any of these. If other resources for pregnancy and motherhood don’t take such a raw look at these issues, I can see how some might feel alone or embarrassed. So I think the various conversations about your body and sex in this book that put vulnerability at the forefront is really great.

This book gives a lot of tools for self-care and for changing your perspective from overwhelmed to empowered. The advice is practical and down to earth, in my opinion. There is a chapter on family management tips and tricks, lots of ideas for working (and playing!) with your partner through all stages of pregnancy and becoming a parent, as well as ideas to focus on yourself and your well-being.

The one thing I think this book could have improved on would simply be the marketing. Don’t get me wrong, I am kinky. Quite kinky. So most of the stuff in the book didn’t surprise me at all. But I think a general or more mainstream audience would be turned off by some of the content in the book. I’m not saying that the sex-positive or kink centered content is bad, I just think the title of this book should have been “The Kinky Momma’s Guide to Pregnancy” or something similar. The very main stream cover is (in my opinion) far too “vanilla” for the content of the book. I just hate to see a really solid book getting low reviews because the audience doesn’t get what they expect.

But if you are that kinky momma (and I know several!) then you’ll definitely want to check out this book. I hope it helps you experience the journey of pregnancy and motherhood in a holistic, sensual, and kinktastic way!

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