Dear readers of The Unlaced Librarian,
At the end of 2020 I will be retiring this site and will no longer be writing as Leandra Vane.
I started writing erotic romance and blogging as The Unlaced Librarian in June 2013 when I no longer wanted to harbor shame around my sexuality and writing. I wanted to share non-fiction books that had helped me explore and understand my sexuality, to uphold voices who had conversations with me those in my “real” life were unable or unwilling to have.
I came out about my sex writing to friends, family, and my community in 2015. I wanted to live a life of authenticity and integrity and I thought being open would be a sincere show of my values and further help untangle shame.
In ways, it did. I connected with many amazing people and made many precious memories and confronted many of my fears and insecurities.
But in recent years there have also been struggles.
In my offline life my writing has been weaponized. My views on sexuality and the things I’ve been open with in my life from kink to orientation to erotic media have been used to turn people in my community against me, to harass me, and to threaten my employment. I’ve been told, hatefully, that I’m too liberal.
In my online presence I’ve been told by reviewing certain books or by not talking about certain topics that I’m actively harming people in the sex positive community. A couple years ago when photoshopped tweets were circulating of an unfavorable sex educator and I provided screenshots of the real tweets, I was blocked and removed from groups for supporting the unfavorable sex educator when all I was trying to do was point out the fake tweets and let people decide what they thought based on the real ones. I never quite recovered my reputation and I’m still told, hatefully, that I’m too conservative.
Essentially, it’s no longer fulfilling to do my work online and it is no longer safe to do my work offline.
However, I don’t feel victimized. This project was my choice to begin, my choice to be honest about, and my choice to end.
The things I’ve learned in these years have made my life worth living. I will take these lessons with me for the rest of my life. If you’ve been a part of this journey, thank you. You’ve taught me so, so much.
To all the amazing erotica and erotic romance authors, editors, and publishers I’ve had the honor to work with, I wish you the best as you keep on with your work. I wish for you strength to continue to be a beacon of pleasure and HEA’s against shame and sadness.
I will leave a couple self-published titles by Leandra Vane up on Kindle Unlimited but the rest of them I will unpublish. I will be deactivating social media accounts for Leandra Vane and The Unlaced Librarian on December 31st.
But I’ll still be writing. Eroticism will always be a theme in my work, but I’m also going to be writing about personal growth, history, psychology, death positivity, and other things. I also have a huge life thing happening in early 2021 so my overall creative life will be shifting to accommodate that. I have a lot to look forward to and I’m astoundingly grateful.
You can follow me as I write under my “real” name over at www.needleandbow.com
Between now and January 1st 2021 will be transitionary as I will also be getting all my social media over to Needle and Bow accounts.
Twitter: @needleandbow
Instagram: needleandbowofficial
My goodreads will follow as I have a book I plan to publish in January!
I don’t want to lose the important connections I’ve made so I will do my best to follow everyone back.
I know there will be struggles no matter what direction I take, but I am happy with my decision. I am not sad or grieving. I’m hopeful and eager for the opportunities ahead, even if it means starting over.
Thank you so much for joining me.
One last time,
Leandra Vane
So many mixed emotions! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been harassed by liberal and conservatives both, although that’s a pretty good sign that you’re speaking the truth. As a society, we need to find a new balance between free speech and online bullying.
But what I’ve always loved about your writing is that you just take ownership and deal. You bring clarity and honesty and profound self-awareness to your life. I wish you every success, however you measure it. And I know you’ll do well with or without the approval of others.
Thank you so much. I think having a different “brand” and interacting with the topic from an angle of personal growth can help me more effectively write about the topic without sounding (as much) like I’m attacking one side or the other. So I’ll definitely be taking these experiences and harvesting the fruit in ways that I hope are helpful to myself and others. Thanks for reading and I hope we can continue to connect over even more interesting topics out there in this world we share!